NEW LIGHT.

  June 12, 2012.

Well Its been a while since I have blogged so well here it goes.

This evening I feel as if the Lord has really put Jeremiah 29:11-13 on my mind.

 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. "


And through all that has been going on I don't know how I didn't see it literally! This verse is on a canvass hanging in my room! I have been trying to push things to speed to where everything goes at my timing. But as I realized tonight, my timing is certainly not the best.
God has a plan FOR ME! and this plan is a plan that is beyond my wildest dreams!! A plan to give me HOPE  and a amazing FUTURE! How have I been so upset lately when my God has everything under control?? Now I can't believe how I can be upset for one moment having this knowledge. Knowing this God has put this knew light in me. I can feel it! I am filled with joy and peace! thinking that God has an amazing future for me! I mean think of all the possibilities! I can now walk around with a new confidence knowing I don't have to worry because he has it all under control! And thats hard to have complete faith and trust in him 100% because were human and we get scared! We say "God I wanna give my life to you but I don't know I kinda wanna make things go my way and have control.." But once we let go and have complete faith and trust in him and let him take the wheel. We will be filled with a sense of peace! Knowing he has everything under control.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIhGxEdez98
(MUST WATCH)


Maddy.

Valentines Day.

Well I have been dreading Valentines since the beginning of February started. 


Why? well, now being in high school of course there is a TON more people. Which means more happy girls with teddy bears flowers chocolate. Which i know I don't need a boy to make me feel good about my self but every girl no matter how old has that little bit of hope inside that someone will do something special for them.


And with all the statuses on Facebook about valentines I began to dread it more and more! I started to wish that I would be a little kid where EVERYBODY got something from everyone in there little decorated box! And there are so many couples who have been going out for like 7 or 5 months it was just not fun, but then out of know where I said to my self, Madeline, you have a valentine.


A PERFCT ONE thats right perfect. He loves everyone. He loves me a lot and I love him! He gave me a second chance and saved me. He washed me clean. And he will NEVER leave me.


Jesus.


Now I'm not saying were dating thats just weird no. 
Its a father daughter type of Valentine.


I could just Hear God saying in my heart saying Madeline, I love you. More than you will ever know and you are my beautiful daughter and I love you just the way you are. I have amazing plans for you and I will NEVER EVER leave you! EVER! and I trust in that 100%


And I knew I had to share that with y'all! I feel at peace and the worries for valentines cause I know I have a person who loves me and you too. My Daddy, in Heaven <3

What God Has Given Me.

    I try not to question Gods plan for me and why he has has given me ADHD. But lately I have been struggling. A lot. I don't know what to do. I have been taking medicine for about two years now. And its helped but not as much as I would hope it would. And just adding more and more doses isn't really an option. I can only take so much because of how much I weigh. More now than ever I have just been praying to God asking him PLEASE help me to focus in school/golf. And to help me know that you gave this to me for a reason. 
    
I have failed all my classes except for two. Its not that I don't study, or that I don't turn in my work ect. I DO! I work my heart out. And I always just get disappointed. And I can't take it anymore. 
   
Well I talked to a mentor of mine and she told me that God doesn't give us bad stuff. But He allows thing in out lives that will refine us and draw us closer to him. She gave me one of my favorite Bible verses I use when I'm playing golf. its Phil. 4:13 "I can do all things through christ who strengthens me." She told me that things that are hard will grow us more like him, but it isn't easy.
    
This weekend I have been trying to keep this prospective and hopefully this week I can have this mind set of I can do all things through Christ, and that I can do this. Its hard to see the outcome and see the future of what will happen over the next month but even though I can't see it now God can. And all I have to do is trust in him.


Maddy.

My Eyes Have Been Opened.

      This Friday I guess you could say I had my eyes opened in a way. I experienced something I have never had before. And I have gotten a true grasp on why we have set apart.

 I have a lot of friends who I would never have expected to smoke weed. Well when I was at the varsity basket ball game one of those friends was asking everyone for 11 dollars. Which was peculiar seeing as the concession stand is a dollar a candy bar. I kept on asking this person why they wanted 11 dollars from me. Then it clicked. The guy over in the corner who smelt bad due to the weed in his back pack was selling it. As soon as I found out I was first shocked then heart broken! I went to elementary school with this kid! And to see them thinking this was there last resort was awful. Right away I went and yelled at him. Asking why are you doing this?! Then I practically started beginning them not too. Everyone around me told me it was pointless and that everyone does it. My heart dropped into the bottom of my stomach as he walked away to go smoke. I just want to cry right then knowing what he was doing and that I couldn't stop him.

I got in the car and broke down. Explaining what had happened to my mom. I went In my room and talked on the phone with my best friend Emma and vented and let out my frustration and anger. She told me this is why we have the group called Set Apart. Because we are the "weird" ones for NOT smoking and or drinking ect. I knew that but I had never really had an experience which opened my eyes and REALLY opened my eyes to my high school/community. 


I told one of the most stronger christians and a amazing mentor/ women I look up too about this. I told her      I didn't like seeing the people I love doing this and I rather have my eyes closed. She told e in response to this; 


God has  opened your eyes and you have allowed Him to make your heart guarded and safe from that path! We have to see the need and then have the faith to allow God to use us. Remember Jesus said "in this world there will be trouble, but DO NOT worry for I have overcome the world!!'


She made me relies yes, it stinks knowing this we can allow God to guard my heart for the grater good!




Maddy